


like it's supposed to

by Hornswaggler



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: (which is literally the tag idea that started this whole thing in the first place), Canon-typical discussion of Ryan's penis, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Ryan is bad at emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 11:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16304027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hornswaggler/pseuds/Hornswaggler
Summary: Ryan is consistently busy. Luckily for him, that means he's consistently distracted from things he'd really rather not think about.Unluckily for him, he's apparently not too busy for impromptu visits from one of the most wanted men in the system.





	like it's supposed to

**Author's Note:**

> hello watch me dive into this fandom, binge the show in under a week, and immediately get like three ideas for fics. you can find me on tumblr as johnandrasjaqobis where i scream so much.
> 
> Set at some point not too long after Last Offices.
> 
> so uh. here's this thing.

“Y’know, Doc, this station’s fancy, but I doubt the wall’s gonna start diagnosing for ya.”

Ryan didn’t jump. He was a little proud of the fact that he didn’t jump. He did choke on absolutely nothing and had to take a couple of seconds to contain the coughing fit that he refused to let best him.

“Holy _shit_ ,” he hissed. Hopefully it sounded like he was trying to avoid drawing attention and not like he was trying to keep his lungs under control. Ryan turned, pushing his expression into something as indignant as he could manage. “How did you--”

Akmazian, leaning (inexplicably) against the opposite wall next to Ryan’s desk, just raised an eyebrow. Ryan let out a defeated breath, scrubbing a hand through his hair as he sat back in his chair again.

“Nevermind,” he muttered. “I don’t want to know. You shouldn’t be here, you don’t even have your stupid robe.”

“It’s a cloak,” Akmazian corrected immediately, and Ryan sighed.

“It’s you going to prison,” Ryan said. “You said you were staying in the cargo bay.”

Akmazian’s own quick sigh bordered on a laugh. “Aw, c’mon Dr. Dalias, what’s life without a little adventure?”

“Statistically, longer.”

That got an actual laugh, low and rough, and Ryan pointedly did not consider that it was maybe the third time he had heard that laugh.

“See,” Akmazian said, “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Ryan resisted the urge to groan. “My life would be a hell of a lot easier if you didn’t.”

“Technically, you’d be dead if I didn’t.”

That was probably true, too. Not something he liked to consider.

So he didn’t.

“That’s not even...I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation.” Ryan made himself sit up a little straighter. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see you’re starting to go off the deep end,” Akmazian said. “I assume this file here is the one you’re supposed to be working on?”

Ryan glanced over at the desk and the file that was still pulled up on the screen. It had already been taking longer than usual, this patient wasn’t a species he was immediately familiar with.

“I _am_ working on it.” He rolled his chair back, swiping the file down instinctively. Patient confidentiality still applied when dealing with nosy terrorists. _Alleged terrorists_. “I had just…”

He’d been looking for a report about this particular species’ liver-analog, gotten distracted by some stray thought, and apparently zoned out. It hadn’t seemed long enough for Akmazian to slip in unnoticed, but Ryan wasn’t sure he was processing time extremely reliably these days.

Nothing seemed extremely reliable these days.

“That doesn’t matter.” There was a little more snap in his voice than he intended, but that probably wasn’t a bad thing. Ryan resisted the urge to stand; having to look up at Akmazian wasn’t ideal, but standing would make it seem like this was a conversation he wanted to have. “What the hell are you doing here? Trying to test how far that “no court-martial” deal can stretch?”

Akmazian’s shrug was infuriatingly nonchalant. “They’re not looking for me here anymore. Only an idiot would go back to the same station he was found on in the first place.”

Ryan couldn’t help the sharp scoff. “And that makes you what, exactly?”

“An idiot with a lead.” Akmazian straightened, hands in his pockets. “I’m launching in a few hours. Thought you’d want to be in the loop.”

“Oh.” Ryan didn’t consider the very slight dropping feeling in his chest with that. “Surprised you’ve still got the -- what was it again, _Quiet Drizzle_?”

The resulting smirk somehow alleviated that feeling in his chest a little. He didn’t look into that, either.

“You think I’d actually trust those assholes with my ship after everything else?” Akmazian shook his head. “Still got shit to do. Don’t exactly got the time to fill out forms in triplicate. Or does the quartermaster reserve those for you?”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault he hates me, I didn’t -- that is _so_ not the point. Why are you _here_?”

The hesitation was short, but noticeable. Akmazian folded his arms, scanning the room quickly. “Like I said, keeping you in the loop.”

“Didn’t bother the last three times you left,” Ryan noted.

“How’d you know I left, then?”

There was that damn smirk again. Ryan let out a frustrated breath, pointedly looking at the opposite wall.

“Why are you here?”

Akmazian shrugged again. “Making sure there weren’t any late-reaction penis explosions?”

“Oh my God.”

“I mean it’s lookin’ okay, but you might need a closer examination.”

“Oh my God, _get out_.”

“Alright, alright, look…” Akmazian let his arms drop and they swung out briefly. If Ryan didn’t know better, he’d say it looked almost uncertain. “Levi might’ve mentioned that you were a little...distracted.”

Ryan snorted a quick laugh. “And you believe anything _Levi_ says?”

“C’mon, Doc, I just watched you stare at the wall for a good five minutes. I just need to…” Another hesitation, a little longer this time. “Gotta make sure you’re not spending all that time thinking about turning me in after all.”

It wasn’t really convincing. Ryan decided not to question it anyway.

“I nearly got court martialed once already.” He pushed himself to his feet and crossed the room to the small fridge, pulling out his water and making a point to not turn around as he opened it. “Pretty sure they’ll be a little extra pissed if they find out I’ve been sort of harboring the same terrorist all over again.”

“ _Alleged_ terrorist,” Akmazian corrected immediately.

Ryan rolled his eyes. He seemed to do that a lot more often these days. “Yeah, well, there are like, three people that believe that.”

He heard said alleged terrorist take a few steps closer and resisted the urge to look around. Which was ridiculous, this whole situation was ridiculous…

“Including you.”

Completely ridiculous. He had files to fill out, appointments to schedule. Prisons to stay out of.

“Yes,” Ryan sighed after a moment, “including me. It’s a little hard not to believe you when there’s pretty obviously a star where the Alliance says there is no star. But that’s beside the point.”

Hell, what even _was_ the point? He had a wanted criminal -- alleged or not -- standing around in his office, and he legitimately had no idea why.

“Are you doin’ okay?” Akmazian asked suddenly.

That got Ryan to turn, brow furrowed. He made himself take a drink from the bottle in his hand, part of him realizing the effort he was putting into remaining nonchalant probably meant he wasn’t very nonchalant to begin with.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Obviously.”

Akmazian raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “So the staring at the wall, that’s just a new hobby? Thought only Nurse Johns was trying for that sort of thing.”

Ryan sighed, folding his arms. “Forgive me for getting a little distracted. I’ve had late shifts all week, I’m tired.”

“You also just buried your father.” A beat. Then a short sigh, almost too quiet to hear. “Partially because of me.”

That was not a thought Ryan was used to entertaining. It had come up, sure; Akmazian had been a lot of the reason any of them had been there. A lot of the reason his dad had been there. The reason his dad had gone to the archives, to look for evidence that might clear an alleged terrorist just because Ryan had the gall to challenge the Alliance.

He’d considered it. There had been a few minutes, maybe an hour, where hating Akmazian had seemed like the most satisfying option -- someone who had been involved, intentionally or not, and someone a hell of a lot more immediately available to hate than whoever actually set the explosion. He could hate this random criminal he’d found in the cargo bay, whether Akmazian was innocent of the Alliance’s accusations or not, and it would be a lot more satisfying than trying to hate some completely unknown entity.

Except that he couldn’t. He couldn’t manage it for more than those few minutes.

“It wasn’t you,” Ryan said plainly, grateful that his voice was as steady as ever. “Alliance might’ve found it easiest to pin it on you, but he was there for me. Nothing says family reunion like watching your son testify on behalf of a wanted criminal, right?”

There was no smirk this time, and Ryan felt his own attempt at one slip away after a second. Akmazian just nodded, barely, thoughtfully, before he finally looked away himself.

“Even medical professionals are allowed to grieve, Dr. Dalias,” he said.

Ryan had to keep himself from laughing, not because it was particularly funny, but just because of how _absurd_ the whole thing was. He wasn’t supposed to be standing in his office having one of the most wanted men in the system give him a counseling session. He wasn’t supposed to need a counseling session in the first place.

He didn’t need one. That was the point.

“I have,” Ryan insisted. “I am. Just with Dr. Urvidian suspended, there hasn’t exactly been time to…” He hesitated, wondering again why the hell he was having this conversation in the first place, and shook his head sharply. “I’ve already gotten the lecture about taking a vacation, but I think leaving Jane in charge would be the same as blowing the station up myself.”

He didn’t know where he was supposed to be looking. Akmazian was watching him again, but it wasn’t the usual sort of looks that Ryan could snap off some annoyed retort about and then ignore. The bottle still in his hands was suddenly extremely interesting. He could probably just go back to his work; Akmazian might get bored and leave without an audience.

Sitting alone at his desk, though, still seemed like a really lousy way to spend the rest of the evening.

Part of him wondered what stage of grief that was supposed to be.

“I’m fine,” Ryan said again. “I’m working, I’m…” He waved a vague hand. “There’s a whole conspiracy to uncover, apparently, on top of everyone on this station being weirdly accident prone. There’s a lot to do. I’m fine.”

Akmazian didn’t look convinced. That was fair. Ryan wasn’t sure he was convincing himself. It _had_ been a long few days; being short their head doctor meant a lot more emergency calls in the middle of the night and a lot more paperwork. It was tiring.

It was a lot to take his mind off of...everything else.

So of course the one guy on the station that he had absolutely no idea how to handle was the one to bring it up all over again.

As if Urvidian hadn’t been bad enough.

“Alright,” Akmazian said after a moment. “We both know that’s not true, but I know…” He shrugged, almost self-consciously. It was a weird gesture coming from the so-called destroyer of stars. “I’m not the one you’re gonna be talking to about things like that. Just sayin’, from experience, it takes a lot longer to get through if you keep pushing it back.”

Whatever Ryan had been expecting, if he’d been expecting anything at all, it definitely hadn’t been that.

He had no idea how he was supposed to respond to it. Didn’t know if he was really supposed to in the first place. This wasn’t a conversation he was about to have with Urvidian. Maybe just a little bit with Jane, but even that was questionable. It wasn’t one he was prepared to have with someone like Akmazian.

There was, of course, the brief surge of curiosity -- of what sort of personal experience Akmazian had with this sort of thing -- but Ryan pushed it away.

Things were already too personal for his liking.

“I’ll be fine.” Ryan turned to put his water back in the fridge, mostly to have something to do with his hands. “You can tell Levi he doesn’t have to worry.”

A very brief flash of that usual smirk. “Pretty sure that’s a physical impossibility for him.”

It felt like a victory.

It made him even more certain than he had been before that it definitely wasn’t Levi who was worrying, and hell if he knew what to do with that information.

Maybe it would’ve been easier if he’d had any kind of real sleep.

“So, you’re launching soon, huh?” Ryan asked, making some effort to keep from sounding too much like he was trying to change the subject. It probably didn’t work too well.

Akmazian took half a step to the side, leaning one hip against the edge of Ryan’s desk and looking entirely too comfortable for a guy who probably had millions of credits on his head.

“Waiting for the shift change,” he said. “You gonna miss me, Doc?”

Ryan managed to snort, eyes rolling again. “Sure, like an infectious disease.”

Akmazian tilted his head a little to one side, his grin sly. “You’re more than welcome to tag along. I’m sure you got plenty more stories about that Academy swim team.”

This was familiar territory. Probably should be concerning that it was familiar, but it was better than before. Ryan folded his arms, his face as unimpressed as he could make it.

“My eyes are still up here.”

“Yeah.” Akmazian did meet his eyes then, and Ryan did not let himself consider what it did to whatever that feeling was in his chest. “I know.”

“I still dislike you.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

Ryan could’ve sworn that was a wink, too quick to really tell, and God was this man infuriating.

At least whatever this nonsense was felt a little more manageable.

“As tempting as whatever illegal things you’re getting up to might be,” Ryan said, “I have surgery in the morning, and if they end up having to reschedule _again_ , I will probably be the one getting the surgery.”

Akmazian hummed shortly and shook his head. It almost looked disappointed. “Pity. You’d be some real great cannon fodder.”

Ryan’s eyes lifted to the ceiling, and his muttered, “How did I get sucked into this?” was quiet, but Akmazian still shrugged.

“Well, see, you and your little friends strolled into my cargo bay, and then you showed me your penis.”

Ryan groaned, eyes squeezing shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t see how you keep on forgettin’ all this,” Akmazian continued unfazed, “it was _very_ memorable for me.”

“Oh my God, get out of my office.”

Akmazian laughed again and straightened, his hands rising placatingly. “Alright, alright, a man knows when he’s overstayed his welcome.”

That much at least, Ryan thought as Akmazian went to the door, was as normal as things got for him these days. He didn’t know what strategy was in place for the still very wanted criminal to not be caught just strolling around the station, but he also knew that, somehow, the _Silent Storm_ would launch in a few hours just as planned.

The destroyer of stars didn’t do something as amateur as getting caught.

“Take care of yourself, Ryan,” Akmazian said suddenly, and Ryan blinked hard as he turned to stare at the man paused in the doorway. “Let it hurt like it’s supposed to.”

The door hissed shut without any further fanfare, leaving Ryan staring at it for another few seconds because _that_ was definitely not in his current realm of normal.

The man was infuriating. Unpredictable. Completely illogical half the time.

So _annoyingly_ attractive.

Ryan shook his head sharply, a tiny, paranoid part of him wondering if there were any species on the station that could somehow read minds.

He sat back down at his desk heavily, pulled the patient file up again, and continued to get absolutely no work done.


End file.
